I miss hugs.

I miss hugs. I never realized until COVID but I am a hugger. When I see friends I inevitably hug them; it can be pretty humorous when my large 5’10” body pretty much engulfs one of my more petite friends. When I see neighbors I typically hug them. Co-workers and those I know in the business also get hugs. Family goes without saying. When I hug someone, it means I like them and am really glad to see them. Now that I can’t hug it’s hard to convey the same feeling. Lord knows I can’t even give them a huge smile because I have a mask covering my mouth. I try to crinkle my eyes a lot so they know my smile is extra-large but they probably think I am squinting! I miss going out to dinner, to the movies, to gardening events but not as much as I miss hugs.

One of the original family therapists Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” 

There are so many health benefits to hugging and touch in general (just Google it and you will see what I mean). Hugging and touch can decrease anxiety among other things. During a hug, which should be held for 20 seconds for maximum benefit, we release oxytocin, a hormone that relaxes us and lessens anxiety. It’s often called the “cuddle hormone,” and when it’s released during these longer hugs it can effectively lower blood pressure and reduce stress. Seems ironic that during an incredibly stressful year we are unable to turn to something that can actually help. Maybe that’s why alcohol and drug use are up.

I am grateful for my son who, like me, is a hugger. If you have those in your bubble that you can hug I encourage you to do so. It really is good medicine.